But, they make me so angry!

Some friends in Reynosa.

Have you ever thought about your emotions? Why do you feel that way? Why is it that some people just get under my skin so easily? I have been thinking about it a lot. Some people are just easy for me to be around and others are a real challenge. Some people make me feel angry without doing or saying anything. With some people I can't wait to hang out with them and others, I do not want to answer the phone or click on their text when I see who it is. Just hearing the names of some people can make me cringe. These responses all come from somewhere and I have started looking into, and even more, asking God why I respond negatively to some people. Why am I so easily offended and quick to see my temper flare with them.

Let me say, I do not think that I ever have a right to be offended by the actions of another. When I came to terms with my offense toward God that put Jesus on the cross, I lost all rights to be offended at people. I have no right to expect anyone to treat me as I want. I also have no right to demand that people act in a way that is pleasing to me. I am called to love people without exception and to serve them as if I am serving Jesus. I am called to do it with rejoicing and thanksgiving. My reactions are not coming from "righteous indignation" because Jesus did not treat people poorly ever. He corrected and rebuked a small group of religious leaders yet He lived fully in compliance to the law. He told people to honor those leaders and obey the law. He also told the people not to live like those leaders. He never gave us an excuse to treat people poorly so where is this coming from?

As I have prayed about it, God has shown me a couple of things that cause me to have these reactions toward people. Often, I feel like I have a right to convenience and accommodation. It is not about the person but about my felt need. I expect that if it is best for me, it only makes sense that others would just want to do things my way. It does not matter who the person is, it is about my need being met. The problem with this is that I am to find Jesus as my source for everything. My needs must be filtered through His hands and met by Him as He sees the need. He will meet them according to His purpose. I am not trusting Him in the area of meeting my needs when I get upset with people in this way.

Another area for me that is key is when I have conversations and people completely misinterpret what I am I saying. I think I communicate clearly but often, when  they repeat what I said it is much different than what I thought I said. This really frustrates me. It is probably my biggest point of frustration even when I love the people that are doing it. I feel like they did not listen and they assumed they knew what I was going to say. I do not know if this is right or not. I cannot guess what was going on in their mind but I do not feel heard. One of the greatest desires of the heart is to be heard and known by others. When I do not feel heard, I can quickly get defensive. God has shown me the problem for me is that I do not trust Him to hear and know me. If I feel heard and accepted by God, I will not react poorly when people do not hear me. It is enough that He hears.

My last big area that I have seen as an issue where anger can rise up in me is when I feel like people are acting wrongly, sinfully or unjustly. I look at their actions and become offended then justify my anger at them. I say unkind things and carry wrong attitudes and resentment. Here I have come to see the problem is that I have started carrying offenses for God that He never asked me to carry. He is not offended by the sinful and unjust acts of people. Jesus poured out His blood so that He could move past that and be in relationship with them. He is not looking to condemn because He has already paid for their acceptance. Now, He is drawing them with His love. I need to allow Him to show me how to not judge them but allow Him to move me with compassion so that He can save them and set them free. I may be called on to speak a difficult word to someone but it will never be about me, my offense or my desire. If Jesus calls me to correct someone, it will be from His heart, filled with His compassion and done in His love. I will not be the issue.

I am sure that there are other reasons I react badly to certain people and situations but I am not digging for now. Jesus will show me what areas of my life that I have not trusted Him with and He will reveal Himself as my sufficiency in them. He will set me free to walk in love toward all people at all times. He will end my offense and my anger as He touches the areas in my life that those people are bumping up against. Jesus is sufficient. He wants to touch every area of  my life and yours so that when we come up against difficult people, only love will come out of us. Even at the times when we correct them, they will only see Jesus and love. They may not receive the love or correction but we will not be the reason that they reject it. We will not be offended by that rejection because it is not our place to be offended. We are not the one that is offering them freedom.

We were given the ministry of reconciliation. We are called to bring people to Jesus, who is not counting their sins against them. We are called to be instruments of salvation, representing the love of Jesus to people. God is working in my heart to identify the areas that He still needs to work in me. He is setting me free so I can be His hands to love people. When anger and irritation come, they are not a sign that something is wrong with person I am upset with. They are a signal that I need to ask God what area of my Heart does He want to work in now.  They are revealing an area of my life that is not surrendered to the love of God and submitted to His will.

[2Co 5:16-21 ESV] 16 From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

God is giving me a new way of looking at people as He fills me with His love, not just for them but for me too. As I know who I am in His love, I become confident and secure as I deal with people. I do not have to get upset or angry. I can love unconditionally and people can receive His love through me because it is present in me for them. I cannot wait to see where this is all leading.